hello 2012.

Since I have no one to share this with, I’ll just blog it. I really thought I already let him go. But reality slump me just this evening (January 02, 2011). I accidentally clicked his girlfriend’s account and saw things that I’m not supposedly to see. I am hurt. We used to be like this before. I used to be his girl. I used to be the one meeting him, the one who’ll give him a smile so he would feel okay when he’s down. The one encouraging him to do things he said he can’t. What happened to us? I really love him so much. I almost think of marrying him someday, like he’s the right one for me. I’ve been in a relationship four times already (including him), and the very first time I felt this is just now, because of him. He’s not even handsome and doesn’t have qualities. I don’t know why but I just felt this way.

While watching heartstrings, I realized everything. I only watch such things because I am alone. I want to feel that feelings again- to be in love. I used to act like it’s okay, like I am now moved on that I can face him and tell him that I don’t like him anymore but the truth is I’m just pretending to. I don’t know what to do. Why do I have to cry over him? It’s more than one year now but he’s still the one who owns my love. This is such an unrequited love. I love him but he loves someone else. What should I do now? Seeing them so in love with each other makes me think of how we used to be.